


Zombie Angel

by fistitout



Series: in another world (zombies!aus) [10]
Category: Z-O-M-B-I-E-S (2018)
Genre: angsty!au, i’m sorry for everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-08-21 10:42:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16574900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fistitout/pseuds/fistitout
Summary: After tragedy strikes, no one knows what to do. Mistakes are made and things fall apart, and everyone is left wondering ‘what happens next?’





	1. Rush

**Author's Note:**

> Hehe, I know I should stop posting new stories. But I can't help it. I mean, I am working on the next part for most of the stories out there. But anyway, if you follow my tumblr I've hinted at this occasionally where I've been working on a little angsty fic. It won't be very long, maybe just 3-5 chapters. But be warned, it is angst and shit happens. (If you're wondering, I wrote this not long after watching John Q).

"Hey Zoe, you excited for today?"

Zoey grinned and bounced in her chair. It was the first day of cheer practice, and the first day a Zombie would be cheering with the Mini Shrimp. Bucky and Addison has been working to get her on the team for two years and they had finally allowed her to come, after agreeing to watch her audition tape and actually loving it.

Unfortunately, Zed had summer football training that same day and wouldn't be able to watch her on her first day. "I'll take extra good care of her, I swear," Addison told him. Then, to Zevon, she said, "Your daughter is safe with me, don't worry."

Addison dropped Zed off at the school before driving with Zoey to the dance studio further in Seabrook. Zoey sat in the front seat and sang along with the radio. She was so adorable and full of life at seven in the morning, Addison couldn't help but grin.

The first day of cheer camp was mostly introductions and light warm ups, mostly to see who could do what and where people could be placed. Once they figured out everyone's positions, they'd break for lunch then get started on learning moves.

Zoey was amazing. She worked harder than the other kids and didn't goof off like they had. She smiled and cheered and had as much fun as she could. It was great seeing all the kids laughing and having a good time, and some of them even including Zoey into their conversation.

**Z: How's Zoey?**

**A: She's making friends! And having lots of fun!**

**Z: That's awesome! Mind if I swing by after practice ends in a few?**

**A: You have to bring me some lunch.**

**Z: Your on lunch rn**

**A: I want a milkshake**

**A: Will you buy me a milkshake pretty please?**

**Z: I can't see you and I know you're doing puppy eyes**

**Z: You know I can't deny you anything**

**Z: I'll bring for Zoey too**

**A: And fries?**

**Z: Yes baby, and fries**

**A: YAY!**

**Z; I'll see you at two, gotta get back out there**

**A: I love you! See you later!**

* * *

"Addison!" Zoey bounced over to her excitedly. "This is my new friend, Willow."

"Hi!" Willow said excitedly.

Addison smiled at the two young girls. "Hey, how are you today?"

"I'm having lots of fun," Willow said. "You're a fun teacher!"

"Thank you," Addison said with a grin. "You guys still have a bit of free time before we go back to work. You don't wanna go run around on the playground or something?"

Zoey and Willow shook their heads. "Is it okay if we tumble?" Zoey asked. "I wanna work on my split!"

"And Zoey says she can help me with my cartwheel," Willow added.

Addison nodded. "Do you guys wanna do it inside?"

"Yes please."

Addison stood up and walked with them back to the studio doors. "I was just texting your brother," she said to Zoey. "He's gonna bring us food because he knows your crushing your first day."

Zoey grinned widely. "Zed's the best!"

"He is, isn't he?"

Zoey turned to her new friend and said, "Zed has been dating Addison for like two years now. But they act all couple-ly and gross all the time, like a married couple."

"My brother too," Willow said. "Except he hadn't had just one girlfriend. He's dated pretty much any girl who'd go out with him."

"Boys are gross," Zoey stated.

"Someday you'll change your mind about that," Addison stated. "You'll start dating and your older brothers will be super protective of you. I will too, because as your cheer coach it's my job to protect you both. Even when we're not cheering."

The two little girls tumbled for a bit more while Addison stood off to the side, watching and making sure neither broke anything. Fifteen minutes later, the other kids began to sprinkle in, followed by the high school volunteers and the cheer coaches. They had the kids get into lines and stand in set, waiting for their next instruction.

It felt like she watched it happen in slow motion, where she could move or do anything but watch. Zoey was in set one second, then her face contorted in pain and she hunched over. She held a hand to her chest before collapsing to the ground face down, the sound resonating through the silent studio.

Addison was moving before she knew it, running to the young Zombie with Bree and Bucky on her heels. Addison slid to the ground, most likely giving her knees a bad burn and not caring. She rolled Zoey onto her side and looked at her rapidly bluing face. Her eyes were crossed obscenely and her body convulsed and twitched in Addison's arms.

"Zoey? Zoey can you hear me?"

"She's not breathing!" Bree shouted. "Someone call 9-1-1!"

Addison lifted Zoey up and stood with a huff. Bree and Bucky looked at her in surprise a horror. "What're you doing?" Bucky asked. "Wait for an ambulance!"

"She could die in that time," Addison stated.

She and Bree all but ran through the studio and into the parking lot with Bucky on their heels. Bree unlocked her car and Addison stuffed herself and Zoey into the backseat.

"Call her dad, we'll call Zed," Bree said to Bucky as she started the engine. Then, as she reversed out of her parking space, she called through her open window, "We're going to Memorial West! Check her paperwork and let me know!"

Addison kneeled on the car floor and laid Zoey down on the seat. ' _What do I do? What do I do?'_ she thought in panic. ' _CPR_.'

Addison focused on the chest compressions and the breathing for the entire seven minute drive to the hospital. Nothing was working and Zoey wasn't breathing. Addison was panicking and shaking and put everything into trying to get her to breathe again.

Before the car and come to a complete stop Addison was tumbling out of the door. She pulled Zoey out and ran through the emergency entrance. "She's not breathing!" Addison shouted as she ran toward the front desk.

An emergency room nurse rushed up to her and pressed his fingers into Zoey's neck. "Come with me," he said quickly, moving at a pace just under running into the emergency room.

They got Zoey onto a stretcher and into what looked like an operating room. The nurses and doctors around Addison yelled instructions to each other, grabbing different equipments and instruments.

They cut open everything Zoey had on until they had unobscured access to her thoracic region, while two others attached a few wires to her exposed arm and her vitals appeared on screen.

"Cardiac arrest!"

"Her pulse is dropping!"

"How long has she been unconscious?"

Bree checked her watch and said, "Eight and a half minutes."

A female nurse began CPR on the young Zombie while several others prepared a defibrillator and connected Zoey to an emergency respirator. They attached adhesive electrodes to her chest and let the defibrillator begin its analysis.

The nurse checking her vitals stuck a needle into her arm then asked, "Does she have any allergies?"

"No, none," Bree said.

"There's a large mass inside her thoracic cavity," a doctor noted. "Lets get some antibacterials in her!"

"What's wrong with her!" Addison cried.

Instead of an answer, the first nurse to encounter them held his arm out to keep them back. "Is there any electronic devices in or on her?" he asked.

"Her Z-Band is like a pacemaker," Bree stated. "But if you take it off her heart rate will drop!"

One of the nurses lifted a pair of sheetmetal snips. "Be ready with the defibrillator once the Z-Band comes off."

A dark hair nurse pressed the shockers of the defibrillator to her chest. They cut off her Z-Band and the dark hair nurse shouted, "Clear!"

Zoey's body spazzed in response to the electrical shock. Her heart rate spiked and they resumed CPR immediately. Not ten seconds later she started breathing again.

"Zoey!" Addison and Bree both turned as Zed ran through the emergency room and over to them.

The male nurse raised an eyebrow at him. "He's her brother," Bree stated.

"What happened? What's wrong? Why do my baby sister in the hospital?" Zed rushed, completely out of breath.

"She's stabilized, which is good," the nurse said. "We'll send her in for a MRI or a CT Scan within the next few minutes, but the most important thing is getting her paperwork filed. Is there a parent or guardian?"

"My dad's on his way," Zed stated.

"I'll get you the forms."

Before the nurse was even out of earshot, Zed look at the two girls. Anger and sadness and fear all washed over his face and were evident in his words. "What happened why is my baby sister in the hospital?"

"She just collapsed in practice," Bree explained in exasperation. "We got her here as fast as we could!"

"You said you'd protect her!" Zed shouted furiously, his words aimed at his girlfriend. "You promised you'd keep her safe and now she's here!"

"Zed—"

"You lies to me!" he went on, his voice thick with tears. "Don't 'Zed' me."

Addison opened her mouth to respond but Zed just held up his hand for her to stop. "Just go," he said in a broken voice.

He turned away from her and moved to his sister's side. Addison looked at him in shock. She felt her throat close up as she fought down the tears. Addison turned and ran out of the emergency room, Bree calling and running after her.


	2. Pain

Bucky walked through the automatic doors in time to intercept Addison before she could run out. Before he could say anything, Addison threw her arms around her cousin and cried into his chest.

Immediately, Bucky thought the worst possible thing: something had happened to Zoey. He held his cousin tighter and fought back the wave of tears threatening to break loose.

Bree ran over to them and said, "She's not crying because of Zoey she's crying because of Zed."

Aside from the obvious conversation Bucky would have to have with Zed, he was more concerned about the little girl who collapsed than the shaky relationship of his cousin. "What about Zoey?" Bucky asked in worry.

"They're taking her for imaging but they don't know what's wrong with her," Bree said. "We can't go up, though. They're only letting her family see her now."

Addison squeezed him tighter. Bucky rubbed her back comfortingly. "Ssh, it's okay," he told her gently. "I got you guys your clothes if you want."

"Thank you," Bree said quietly. She took the keys from Bucky and said to Addison, "I'll grab your bag."

* * *

Some time later, Zevon arrived. He brought the three cheerleaders up with him to the ICU where they were told Zoey was. They had to stay in the waiting room, while Zevon went into the imaging room where they were told Zed was.

Two and a half hours. Addison had fallen asleep on Bucky's shoulder in the time, completely tired and wiped out from the day of cheering and the emotional stress that had followed suit. Both Bucky and Bree were shaking her awake. When she opened her eyes and had woken up her mind, Zed was rushing into the waiting room and heading straight to her.

Addison stood up and stepped toward him. She had barely made it on step before Zed embraced her tightly, dropping his head into the crook of her neck and sobbing. On instinct, she wrapped her arms around him and held him tight, trying to give him as much comfort and support as she could manage.

People didn't just cry for no reason. Addison knew this. Zoey was in the _hospital._ She'd gone into cardiac arrest. Things weren't looking good for the young Zombie. Addison had to choke back her own tears. She needed to be strong for Zed here. He _needed_ her.

Zed pulled back from her and sniffed. His eyes and nose were read and puffy and he just looked a mess. Without saying a word, he held her arm and walked back into the hall, away from Bucky and Bree and the other people in the waiting room.

Zed leaned against the wall and took a deep, shaky breath. "Zoey's dying," he breathed out slowly. "She—my baby sister is gonna die." He dunk to the floor and covered his face with his hands, sobbing into his palms.

* * *

"This is a heart of a healthy eight year old Zombie. And here's Zoey's heart. Do you see the difference?"

Addison nodded silently. "It's huge."

"A little more than three times its average size," Dr. Stevens explained. "What I told her family is that in a situation like this, we'd perform a heart transplant."

Addison was afraid to ask, but knew she had to. "But?"

"But there would have to be a heart donor who matches Zoey in all aspects. Cavity size, blood type, Zombism, to name a few. There are only a few registered organ donors who are also Zombies, but…"

"But Zoey's gonna die before they do," Addison finished in a strained voice.

"Precisely."

"So that's it?" she asked helplessly. "You're a doctor for god sake! There's _nothing_ else you could do?"

"There's also the cost factor," the hospital administrator, Rachel Winston, added. "It would take a twenty percent deposit to even put her name on a donor's list. She won't even make it through the night. And, if by some miracle her heart doesn't give out from being overworked or her lungs don't fill up with blood—and one of the six registered organ donors in Zombietown dies and matches Zoey perfect—it'd be impossible for the costs to be paid. The Necrodopoluses would never be able to afford it, even if they sold themselves."

Addison swallowed back everything: her riding bile, all the hateful and crude things she was thinking, _everything_.

"Zoey is going to die," Addison said, quietly, tiredly, completely exhausted.

"We're sorry," Dr. Stevens said in his most gals apologetic voice. "We could medicate to make these next few hours as painless as possible, but there's nothing we can do. With the combination of fluid buildup in her heart, her Zombism, and her Z-Band completely exhausting the body's natural pacemaker, there's nothing we can do to change her fate aside from a heart transplant."

She could feel she was on the verge of crying. Zoey was like a little sister to her. Zoey was someone's daughter, she was Zevon's daughter. She was actually, physically, biologically Zed's little sister. If Addison felt so sickened, so completely heartbroken and lost and _confused_ , she couldn't even begin to fathom what Zed and Zevon must be feeling.

"Will you at least let her stay here?" Addison asked quietly. "Until…until she's gone. I'll pay for it. The room and the medicine and-and everything."

"Of course," Rachel Winston said. "I'll draw up your bill."

"Make sure she's as comfortable as possible."

* * *

Zoey died five hours and twenty-six minutes after getting to the hospital. Zevon and Zed were by her bedside, holding her hand and talking to her. Bree and Bucky were further in the back, still with her but giving the family their space. Addison was by Zoey's bed, rubbing Zed's back as he watched his little sister die before his eyes.

Before she died, she started crying. "It hurts," she cried. "Daddy it hurts."

Zevon did his best to comfort her, to tell her everything would be alright. "I'm gonna die Daddy," Zoey sobbed. "I'm gonna die!"

Zed cried. Hearing his little sister talking, wishing there was something anyone could do to spare her life made his heart break.

"It's okay, Zoey," Addison said gently. She knew she sounded sick from how clogged her nose was and how she was crying and couldn't breathe. "It'll be okay."

Zoey looked at Addison, sadly and tiredly, like she was struggling. "I don't wanna die," she choked out. "Help me, Addy. Please. P-plea—" Zoey sounded like she choked, and then she was gone.

Zoey died with her eyes open, her father and brother still holding her hands. She died in complete pain, begging for help and crying. The only sound in the room was Zed sobbing and the machines heading her vital signs going flat.

A nurse came in and closed Zoey's eyes and covered her completely with the sheet. Zed ducked his head into Addison and cried and Zevon left the room. They wheeled Zoey's body from the room, as if that would somehow finalize her death. But it didn't. She was eight years old. She had hopes and dreams and a life to live. And it was all over.

* * *

Addison and Zed sat on the curb outside of the hospital. It was past dinner but neither felt up to eating or making a move to Addison's car to go home. _Home_. Addison couldn't even think what life for her would be like without Zoey. But for Zed, it'd be miserable. He'd go home and pass her room, knowing she'd never sleep in her bed again. He'd have to care for her dog who wouldn't even understand why his little girl wasn't coming home. It'd be horrible for him.

Zed wasn't think about that though. The first thing he said to her since Zoey's death was, "I'm sorry for yelling at you."

Addison was surprised, to say the least. She had to wrack her brain to understand what he was talking about. "Oh," she said once she remembered. "I-it upset me for a little. But…but you were upset and you wanted to blame someone and I get it."

"Thank you." Then silence.

Zed has stopped crying not long after they had gotten outside. Zevon was nowhere to be found and Bree's parents had told her to go home. And Bucky. Bucky was inside, taking care of all the details.

"You can stay at my house," Addison offered. "If you'd like."

Zed nodded. "Thank you," he said again.

"What're friends— _girl_ friends—for?" she said, trying her best to keep her voice light. "Do…do you want me to call Eliza and have her watch Puppy?"

Zed nodded slowly. "Okay," Addison said. "I'm sorry for asking you so many questions—"

"I like the distraction," Zed said quietly.

"I'll remember that. But do you want to go now? Bucky can handle…himself."

Zed stood up. "I want to get as far from here as possible." His voice was dry and hoarse and flat, but also filled with misery.

Addison stood up too, slipping her phone from her pocket and sending Bucky a quick text saying that she was leaving before walking with Zed to the garage, where Bucky had dropped off her car. She held his hand and rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand, letting him know she was there if he needed her.

* * *

"You two look like hell."

Addison glanced at Zed and released his hand. "Go on up to my room. I'm right behind you."

Zed nodded shortly and continued to and up the stairs. Addison waited until she heard her room door open and close before turning to her parents, watching as their faces went from light hearted teasing to concern. "Addy, what's wrong?" Dale asked.

Addison felt her lip quiver as she choked out, "Zoey died."

Missy rushed to her daughter and embraced in a hug, just in time for Addison to start sobbing into her mother's arms. Dale wasn't far behind, wrapping his arms around the two of them.

"Oh sweetie, what happened?" Missy asked.

"She—her heart—" Addison sniffed and wiggled from her parent's embrace. "Her heart wasn't working properly and it was filling with fluid and her Z-Band just destroyed it and it gave out and there was nothing we could do!" Addison cried.

"Oh Addy," Missy said sadly, on the verge of tears herself. She glanced up with a sudden realization. "How's Zed doing?"

Addison shook her head. "He's so broken and I just—I just want to be there for him and I know he needs me because we don't know where his dad is but I just—I just can't."

Missy pulled her daughter in again, rubbing her back affectionately. "It's okay baby," Missy said. "Oh my god, you'll be okay. I know it hurts, baby. I know."

Addison sobbed against her mother. She couldn't even bring herself to hug her back. "Dale, you should go check on Zed," Missy said.

Addison heard her father going up the stairs and into her room. Missy walked with Addison to the couch and they sat down together. Addison cried against her mother until she felt exhausted and wiped out, until she had no tears left to cry.

"I think I'm gonna go check on Zed," Addison decided. "I'm sure he's sick of Dad at this point," she added with dry humor.

"Okay," Missy said. "Have you guys eaten yet?"

Addison nodded and lied, standing up and making her way to her room. Her dad wasn't in there and Zed was in the bathroom. When she found him he was staring st himself in the mirror. He had a towel around his waist and had droplets all over and she knew he had just come from the shower.

His eyes didn't stray when she walked up beside him. "Hey," he said quietly. "What took you so long?"

Addison looked at him through the mirror and gestures to her red and swollen eyes. "I was with my mom." Zed nodded and then Addison asked, "You took a shower?"

"Your dad said it might make me feel better."

"Did it?"

Zed shrugged. "I just want to go to sleep and forget this day."

"You can sleep in my bed. With me."

"Thank you."


	3. Pain

At sixteen, Zoey's was the first funeral that Addison had gone to. It was a small affair. Aside from Addison, Zed, and Zevon, only a few others had come. Addison's parents, Eliza and her family, Bree and her parents, Bonzo, and Bucky.

It was closed casket. No one could bear to see Zoey another time. Zed could barely stand the funeral. Bucky has spoken in his honor.

Bonzo didn't seem to cry, but he clutched Zander as if his life depended on it. Addison was sure that the stuffed animal still carried a lot about Zoey, like her smell. Zed had probably let his friend keep it too.

Eliza didn't cry. She was an angry kind of griever, angry either the world and the hospital and anyone she could blame. Unlike Zed though, she didn't even mention one of the cheerleaders. None of them crossed her mind in her rage against the system and the cruel world.

Bucky was the strongest of them all. Addison knew her cousin had experienced more in life and had been to a funeral before. He'd dealt with death before. It wasn't the same, of course, and it would always hurt. But he took charge of the situation and made sure everything was settled (he was eighteen, after all).

Zevon grieved the most and the hardest. He didn't speak to anyone or even address his son. Addison didn't forget that Zoey was his daughter and he'd now lost both the girls in his life and that could be something that just makes your psyche snap. But she couldn't help but be bitter at the fact that he was ignoring his son. To her, the two of them needed to look out for each other now more than ever.

* * *

Zed stayed with them for the first two weeks after Zoey died. He had stopped crying two days after her death, but still was grieving. He barely slept and only ate when Addison managed to bribe him.

Taking care of Zed helped distract Addison from her own grief. Whenever he wasn't around, though, she had to fight off a breakdown. Sometimes she could, but most times she couldn't. Her parents were always there though. And Bucky would come, just as heartbroken as she was. They'd hold each other and just sit there, still stunned.

Days after the funeral, Addison went to Eliza's house to check on Puppy. Zed had expressed the tiniest bit of concern about his dog. It was the only time he had thought about the outside world.

"Was it like this with Zara died?" Addison asked quietly.

Both Zinnia and Azalea shook their heads. "Zed was just a little kid then," Zinnia explained. "I'm sure he didn't quite know what had actually happened. It's harder for little kids to understand death. But he's so much older now."

Addison nodded in agreement. "I wish I could do more."

"You're doing all that you can, and that's great," Zinnia said comfortingly. "But you can't let him become too dependent on you. You need to start coaxing him back to his normal life."

Eliza scoffed from her seat on the counter. "As if anyone could go back to normal life," she said bitterly.

Her mother ignored her. "Start with Puppy. Dogs can be great for emotional support."

Addison nodded again. "Do you think I should bring Puppy back to my house? If it'll help?"

"I honestly think he should go home," Zinnia stated. "Zevon has been a wreck around here. But I do understand that they both need their time to cope."

"Take Puppy with you," Azalea said. "I'll go put his stuff in a bag. Make it easier for you."

When Zed saw Puppy he cried. They were a combination of sad and happy tears, and Zed took his dog from Addison's hands and held it to his chest. He kissed Puppy's head and looked at Addison, giving her a watery smile. It was the first time he'd smiled, genuinely smiled since Zoey died.

"I missed him so much," he said in a thick voice. "Thank you, Addy."

Addison smiled softly and squeezed his arms. "I thought your mom didn't like pets?" Zed asked.

Addison shrugged. "We just have to clean up after Puppy until you go back home," she said, hinting heavily to him going home soon.

Zed nodded excitedly. "I didn't think I'd be so happy to see Puppy!"

For the first time in weeks, Addison giggled. She reached out and screeched Puppy's head, leaning into her boyfriend's side. "I think dogs just have this magical property to make people happy," she suggested. "It's best not to question it."

Zed giggled too. He looked at Addison and nodded in the direction of the couch. They moved over to it, sitting down and letting Puppy jump into Addison's lap.

"Addy, you know I love you, right?"

Addison nodded. "Yeah, why?"

Zed shrugged. "I just…I haven't said it in a while."

Addison leaned forward and kissed his lips softly. When she pulled back, she said to him, "You don't have to say you love me because I know you do and always will. I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

Zed smiled softly and lifted a hand to cradle her jaw. "Thank you," he said in a soft and quiet voice. He leaned forward and kissed her again.

* * *

Zed went back home a week after Puppy joined him. Addison knew he didn't really want to leave and was only going because he didn't want to intrude in their lives. He didn't say it and Addison couldn't call him out on it because he didn't say it. She may have wanted him to leave, to try and adjust to life without her (as in herself and maybe a teensy bit without Zoey), but she didn't want him to leave if he wasn't ready.

In July, Addison started summer cheer practice. Football was out on the field and the captains (Addison and Bree) had the cheerleaders on the track, giving Addison a perfect view of Zed working out. She wasn't sure when he had gone back to practice but she was glad that he was. Football and cheer took their lunch breaks together and Addison made her way to where Zed was seated with a few of his friends.

"Hey," she said as she down with them.

Zed smiled at her around his sandwich. He swallowed and took a drink. "I've missed you," he said. "It's been a while, Addy."

Addison shrugged. "You dog shed all over my house and my mom made me clean it."

"You should've told me, I would've helped," Zed said.

"I'm the one that brought Puppy, it was my responsibility."

"Hey Zed, we'll see you on the field," Carter said as he and the other two stood up.

Zed and Addison waved them goodbye and waited until they were gone before continuing. "How've you been?" Addison asked.

Zed shrugged. "I haven't slept in my room," he said honestly. "I…I can't go past her room yet."

Addison reached out and took his hand in hers. "At least your back home," she said. "Your making progress, which is what matters. And you're back out on the field."

Zed rolled his eyes and chuckled bitterly. "I'm mostly here to get away from my dad," he admitted. "He…he's been drinking."

"What?"

"He's not, like, doing anything bad," Zed explained. "It's just…he's a little unbearable when he's drunk. Very useless."

"Zed—"

"I'd much rather be here, playing ball than with him," Zed went on. "Plus, Bonzo says that I shouldn't just stop living my life. That Zoey would want me to become the greatest football player in the world."

"Are you sure everything is okay?" Addison asked. "I…I don't want you somewhere where you could get hurt."

"I'm playing football, I think I can handle myself."

"You'll tell me though, right? If anything happens? If…" Addison swallowed thickly, hating the thought that came to mind. "If he starts beating you?"

Zed nodded without hesitation. "I'll tell you everything, Addy. You're my rock."

Addison cracked a smile, then leaned forward and kissed him softly. "I'm also really glad you're eating without me having to bribe you," she added.

"I mean, you can still bribe me," Zed said cheekily.

"Or you can just ask for kisses and cuddles, like a normal human—actually never mind."

Zed barked out a laugh that made Addison grin harder than she thought possible. "I love you, Addy," he said with a grin. "You always make me so happy, even when you aren't trying."

"Think you love me enough to give me some of your lunch?"

" _Za mōg greeska_."

* * *

"What do you think I should do for my birthday?" Addison asked.

"Are you seriously thinking of having a party?" Eliza scrutinized.

Addison nodded. "I can't change the fact that I will age this year."

"Your birthday is _literally_ the day before Zoey's would be."

"I'm sorry that I happened to be born then, and eight years later Zoey was born the day after me," Addison said unapologetically. "It's my birthday. I'm turning seventeen, I'm gonna celebrate it."

"That's so selfish."

Addison narrowed her eyes at the Zombie. Eliza was usually judgemental and sarcastic, wanting everyone to see and do things her way. But this was Addison's _birthday_.

"It's _my_ birthday," Addison stated. "It's the one day of the year dedicated to me. It's celebrating _my_ birth. I'd get it if it was a week after Zoey had died but it's been two months and I'm going to celebrate my birthday."

"Well you can count me out you self-centered bitch."

Addison nearly growled. "I wasn't going to invite you in the first place. I don't need your negative energy ruining my birthday."

Eliza rolled her eyes. "Don't you have somewhere to be? Like anywhere that isn't in my line of sight?"

Addison shouldered her bag and made her way to the door. She didn't look back as she left Eliza room and essentially her life.

* * *

Zed liked to hide under the stairs. It was quiet and his dad could never find him when he was there. The only disadvantage was that he couldn't take Puppy with him. The small dog would bark or yip and give away his hiding spot and Zed couldn't afford that.

 _Just go stay with Addison_ , he thought. _She said you're always welcome_.

_Except when she was pushing you to leave._

_For your own benefit. She wanted you to start learning to live on your own._

_And what makes you think she she'd want to see you now? Want to watch you crumble and become a dependent sack of potatoes?_

_Addison loves you._

_And you know what happens to people you love. You get attached and then they leave. Just like Mom. Just like Zoey. Just like Dad._

* * *

"Addison? What happened with you and Eliza?"

Addison shrugged. "I was trying to plan my birthday, and she thought I shouldn't have a birthday. We fought, and…and she blocked me."

Zed furrowed his brows in confusion. He sat down beside his girlfriend and asked, "You're having a birthday party?"

Addison shook her head. "I'm just gonna get sushi and cake. Because that's all I can do without offending anyone," she said bitterly. "You think I shouldn't do anything either, do you?"

Zed shook his head. "It is your birthday," he said reluctantly. "Which…which is the day before Zoey's would be. She would've turned nine. We were gonna have a huge party for her too. At that trampoline place…"

Zed sighed and looked down. "I'm sorry, I got all…"

"Don't be sorry," Addison said. "You're grieving, and it's okay. It's only been two months, and she was your baby sister."

"I just never thought I'd outlive my little sister, who's younger than me by almost ten years."

"I know it hurts," Addison said. "But—don't be mad—but I just wanna forget about this summer. June sucked, and July is my favorite month because it's my birthday and I don't want it to suck too because it's _my_ birthday and now me and Eliza aren't friends and you're making me realize I was probably being selfish and insensitive for wanting a birthday."

"You are."

Addison sighed and fell back against her bed. "I am a horrible person."

"Yep."

"You aren't making me feel any better."

Zed shrugged. "So are you still doing your birthday thing? And are you and Eliza still fighting?"

"Yes and yes," Addison stated. "You don't have to support me, but it's my birthday. I wanna celebrate it. And Eliza said horrible things about me, so I will not forgive her until she apologizes."

"Well, she made me choose."

Addison sat up and looked at him in concern. "What?"

Zed nodded. "Said I can't date you and be friends with her so I picked you because you didn't try to make your fight my problem."

"Zed—"

"It's not Eliza even came to me when my sister died," Zed added. "She never even checked on me! She never asked how I was doing or if I was okay! She just treated me like I was fucking glass and couldn't handle a simple conversation!"

Addison reached over and wrapped her arms around him. "Hey, it's okay Baby," she said comfortingly. "I'm here, okay?"

"Is…is it okay if I cry?"

"Of course!" Addison said incredulously. "You can cry whenever, even if you don't have anything to cry about! I'm _always_ here for you."

Zed leaned into her side and cried hard. His body shook as he sobbed. Addison did what she could, rubbing his arm and running her fingers through his hair (he liked it when she did it so she liked to do it as often as possible).

A minute later, Zed pulled back and wiped his eyes. Addison watched curiously as he pulled his shirt over his head and used the cotton to rub his face and neck roughly. "What're you…" Addison started, trailing off as she realized he was rubbing off makeup (some that didn't even really stay on).

He wasn't _covered_ in bruises but there was enough that she knew it wasn't just from football. Zed looked at her sadly and ashamed. "I-I didn't want to tell you before but…but you can't tell anyone."

"Zed," Addison said in slight disbelief. "Your dad's been beating you?"

"Addison you can't tell anyone," he reiterated.

"How can I _not_ tell anyone!" Addison exclaimed, still not really believing what he had said. "This-it's not right! You could get hurt! You _are_ getting hurt!"

"Addison he's the only family I have," Zed stated. "I _cannot_ lose him, Addy. I can't."

Addison wanted to push—to get him to tell someone and realize just how _wrong_ it was—but he believed that it was fine. He just wanted to hold onto whatever he could.

"Promise me you won't tell anyone, Addison," Zed insisted. "Swear!"

"Okay," she resigned. "I swear, I won't tell anyone."


	4. Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A whoops, another update. I know you’re probably sick of me by now and you might just hate this chapter but who cares! Chapter 4 out of 7 complete and I will start 5 right now! Enjoy!

In August, Addison moved cheer practice into the gym. Cross country had taken control of the track and she honestly couldn't focus. She'd watch Zed practice and every time he got hit she couldn't get the image of his dad doing something similar or worse just for the hell of it.

It was better anyway. The football players tended to scrimmage shirts versus skins and the shirtless players distracted everyone on the cheer team (though Zed always ended up in the shirts team).

No one really brought up the Zoey thing. Addison was sure if she was still at the cheer camp she'd have heard more about it, but her team knew better than to bring it up. When Zed would spend the night at Addison's, they would mostly just talk about whatever was happening in the moment. The only time they ever mentioned the past was on Addison's birthday, when Addison's parents had pulled up a photo album from all of previous birthdays.

Sometimes she'd hear Zed talking to himself. When she listened closer he was clearly talking to Zoey. He'd pray in Zombie Tongue and just casually talk in English, telling her about what was happening. Whenever he would do this, Addison would give him as much privacy as she could and only go in when he was quite for a long period of time.

And Addison hadn't heard much from or about Eliza. Occasionally Bree would tell her what Bonzo had shared with her. Eliza was still Eliza and, while not making Bree or Bonzo choose, made it clear she didn't want anything to do with Addison (or Zed sometimes).

A few weeks before school, Addison was in the gym practicing with her cheerleaders when Zed burst through the gym doors. Everyone jumped and turned to see him. He stormed over to Addison, clearly angry.

"Zed—"

"What the fuck Addison!" he shouted furiously. He got up in her face and spat, "You promised you wouldn't say anything! You _swore_ to me!"

"What're you talking about?" Addison asked, completely confused. She shifted her gaze from his face to his arm, seeing his Z-Band flashing orange in warning.

"My Dad was arrested this morning and you're the _only person_ who knew!" Zed near growled. "You swore to me you wouldn't tell anyone!"

"I didn't!"

"Don't lie to me!" Zed shouted.

Addison flinched and took a step back. "I'm not lying I didn't tell anyone," she said calmly.

"What do you have against me, huh? You don't want me to be happy or something? Is that it?" At her confused expression, he added, "Every time you promise me something you _always_ break it! How can I trust you, Addison?"

It took a second for her to understand what he was talking about. Instead of getting upset or anything, she got angry. "I didn't tell anyone about your dad and I couldn't do _anything_ about Zoey! I'm not fucking God!"

"You promised me you'd keep my sister safe and she's _dead_! You promised me you'd keep a secret and now my dad is going to _jail_!"

"I didn't tell _anyone_!" Addison snapped. She was growing more angry with every cruel word he said to her.

Zed rolled his eyes and laughed bitterly. "That's it! I'm done! I'm so fucking done with this bullshit."

He turned on his heels and stormed out of the gym. Addison wanted to scream and cry and chase after him. Instead, she let out a frustrated noise and ran off to the locker room.

* * *

Blocked.

* * *

Bucky has told her that Zevon was locked away. Bree had told her that Zed was gone. "His house was empty and sold to the bank and no one's heard from him since you guys fought."

When school started, Addison was iced out. Word got around that Zed disappeared after fighting with Addison. The football players hated her. The cheerleaders voted her out of her captain spot. Then off the team. Bonzo couldn't even look her in the eye, and Bree was more concerned about her boyfriend than her best friend.

The rumors started not long after. People said she'd been cheating on Zed, sleeping with a guy who had graduated the year before. They talked about how she was easy and a total slut and when Zed found out he went Zombie and they put him Containment.

It was like all the insults and hate they had been hiding for three years in fear of Zed were just gushing out now, all piling on top of her.

"My god she's such a freak."

"What a dirty whore, cheating on Zed."

"I bet she'd blow you for ten bucks."

Addison was like the school's punching bag. _Everyone_ hated her, and she couldn't even blame them anymore.

The only people who'd talk to her were her parents and Bucky, and it was definitely because they were related and you can't get rid of family. Bree hadn't willingly cut social ties with her, but Addison didn't want to take anyone down with her.

Graduation couldn't come soon enough. What was supposed to be the best year of high school was the worst. All because she just wanted to stay positive and keep moving forward. She wanted to avoid her problems and grief and ended up the most miserable she'd ever been.

The only difference between the summer and the school year was that she was all alone now.


	5. Still

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, no edits or revisions. Enjoy, because I sure did.

_**2:30pm**_ **Zed: Hey, it's Zed**

_**2:30pm** _ **Zed: Is this still Addison's phone number?**

_read 2:32pm_

_**4:44pm**_ **Addison: Hi Zed**

 _ **4:45pm**_ **Zed: Could we maybe meet up? Talk? It's been a while I know but I think we're overdue a chat**

_read 4:45pm_

_**5:26pm**_ **Addison: I'm not in Seabrook anymore**

 _ **5:28pm**_ **Zed: I know Bree told me you're in Manhattan**

 _ **5:29pm**_ **Zed: I'm also in manhattan, just FYI**

_read 5:30pm_

_**5:48pm**_ **Addison: I'll be at Ceres' Cafe at 2 tomorrow but I won't wait for you for very long**

 _ **5:50pm**_ **Zed: Okay I'll see you there**

_read 5:50pm_

* * *

Twenty-two, single, living in New York City. Five years ago, her life fell apart. She'd only just finished putting it back together, and now she felt the walls shaking again.

Only this time, she was going to make her stand. Zed ruined her life. She knew better than to ignore him and would give him the benefit of the doubt. And explain to him exactly all the horror he caused her. _He_ was the reason she only ever talked to Bree and that was still on rare occasions, why she had moved to the biggest city in the country so she could hide and become the most forgettable person there. He made her life miserable and she was just starting to be happy and he _wouldn't_ take that away from her.

* * *

"Addison?"

"In the bathroom!" Addison called back. She quickly finished her hair and buttoned her shirt up, then opened the door in time to see James step into the doorway.

"Good morning," he said happily. "I brought you breakfast."

Addison rolled her eyes. "You bring me breakfast every morning."

"Doing anything aside from working today? Maybe dinner?"

Addison shook her head. "I told you yesterday I'm meeting my ex-boyfriend and that will be draining—both emotionally and physically."

"I still don't get why you're meeting him? I thought he made you miserable."

"I loved him," Addison stated. "We were in love."

"And he left you."

"Maybe he might have had a reason," Addison suggested. "And I won't know if I don't meet with him. Who knows, maybe we might end up as friends again."

James scoffed as they walked out of Addison's room. "Or you'll end up as his little bitch again."

"I won't cave," Addison stated. "I even wrote down everything I want to say to him, in case I get distracted. He was very attractive back in high school."

James rolled his eyes. "Okay, whatever."

"Don't make me take my key away again."

* * *

Working in a locally owned cafe in New York City had the perks of being quiet and rarely noticed. Addison had a lot of down time and used it to perfect her notes. She was only getting one chance and she wasn't going to screw it up.

Zed was on time. He walked through the door the minute the clock hit two and when Addison looked up from her spot behind the counter she knew taking notes was the perfect idea. He was still Zed—green hair and pale skin and absolutely perfect. It was summer and hot out, his grey shirt hugging his muscles tightly. She was sure if he turned his butt would look fabulous in his jeans.

When he saw her he frowned and walked up to the counter. "Addison?"

She cleared her throat and took a second to clear her head. He was attractive—even more so than when she'd last seen him—but he was a jerk and she couldn't forget that. "Would you care to order something?" Addison asked.

"You…I mean, no thanks. I just wanna talk with you."

Addison nodded and turned to her coworker. "I'm going on break," she announced, pulling off her apron and moving from behind the counter.

She lead Zed to a booth in the corner, sitting on one side while he sat across from her. "My break is fifteen minutes so make this snappy."

"I just wanted to see how you're doing," he explained. "And…and to apologize."

"I'm well. Now get on with the apology."

Zed nodded, glancing down at his hands then back at her—or more precisely, her hair. "You're wearing your wig again," he observed.

"That doesn't sound like an apology."

"Why?" Zed asked, ignoring her statement. "I-I thought you'd never wear it again."

"It's easier to hide from my past when I'm not such a freak."

"Your hair isn't freakish."

"What an interesting opinion from the guy who ruined my life."

Zed rolled his eyes which just infuriated her more. "You're exaggerating."

Addison clenched her fists on the table. She needed to keep as calm and cool as possible. "Do you know what it's like to be cast out in your own school? To have _no one_? To have everyone who you thought was your friend push you around and call you a freak or a whore? Because that's what you did. You left and everyone blamed _me_."

"It was your fault."

"I swore to you I wouldn't tell anyone, Zed. And I didn't. _My dad_ heard me say it in my sleep and investigated and had enough evidence to convict Zevon."

Zed's face said exactly how shocked he was. She felt a little happy at that, but the absolute anger she'd been building up inside for five years was finally bubbling out.

"I kept my word, but you always just wanted someone to blame for everything that didn't go perfect in your life and you made mine a fucking nightmare. Everything that didn't go right that summer you just blamed on me and it ruined me! Do you know how it feels to be told it's your fault that a little girl who was like a sister to you died? Do you understand how completely soul crushing that is?"

"I-I—" Zed sighed and shook his head. "I don't."

"I put up with so much crap because of you," Addison spat. "So yes, I wanted to hide my hair again because the only person who ever liked it was you and clearly that was a mistake because I'm so useless and stupid to think that what we had was ever real. Dating you was such a fucking fantasy, okay? When you left I didn't even feel liberated because I was in the middle of the hellstorm you created. You broke me. You broke my heart. Nothing you could say will ever change that."

"I wish there was a stronger word than sorry," Zed said. "I know you don't want to hear my apology."

"Do you think words could make up for what I'm feeling?" Addison asked rhetorically. "I wanted to kill myself because of you. Do you get that? You made me want to die."

Zed's expression said it all. He was speechless and shocked and completely remorseful. Addison felt both proud and upset.

"You hit me up after years of blocking me," she went on. "And I responded. And…I don't know why, Okay? I didn't think I'd ever want you back in my life, and I still don't know. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and you turned into the worst mistake. And you just show up here, cute as fuck and just making me want to stop being angry and hug you."

"I'm sorry?"

"Shut up." Addison spat. "You need to stop being so sincere and endearing and just…ugh!"

"Addison, look, I came here because I was stupid and unfair to you," Zed said. "I wanted to talk with you. Your the first person I wanted to talk to."

"I'm listening."

Zed sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry I just used you as a personal punching bag. I never apologized for blaming you for Zoey's death. It wasn't your fault, you couldn't do anything. I just…I just got so mad and I couldn't deal with the fact that my little sister was gone and I wanted someone to blame. You didn't deserve that, and I'm surprised you even put up with me that long."

"You weren't being yourself," Addison said. "You were grieving. I knew you didn't mean any of it."

"Your making excuses for me," Zed pointed out. "It doesn't change the fact that I said it, either. It didn't even cross my mind that I was hurting you. I…I just wanted to blame someone for what was happening, and I can't say I'm sorry enough."

"You were grieving," Addison explained. "I was grieving. We all were. Zoey was the sweetest little angel I knew. And, I'll admit, I was grieving in a very bad way. I wanted life to keep moving and I wanted to forget it even happened. And I tried to force you to grieve the same way I was. I was pushing you prematurely, and that is my fault."

"But you were also the most supportive person," Zed said. "I relied on you so much. I don't think I could've handled it without you. And Puppy, he got me through a lot after I left."

"How's Puppy?"

"He's so old," Zed said wistfully. "He can't even finish walls anymore, it's so sad."

"Is he here too?"

Zed nodded. "Do you know how hard it is to find a pet friendly hotel? Because I do."

Addison giggled despite herself. "My apartment is pet friendly," she pointed out. "James had a cat when we were roommates."

Zed raised a curious and slightly threatening eyebrow at that. "James?"

Addison felt oddly proud that Zed seemed jealous. "Yeah. He moved out though, lived with his brother now."

"Interesting." Zed let out a breath and looked around. "I don't remember what I was saying."

"I think you were apologizing for being a dick to me."

"Sounds about right." Zed said. "I can't really think of what else to say but I'm sorry. If your break wasn't almost over I'd tell you where I was and what I was doing."

"Um, I feel like I'll regret this, but you can come over for dinner tonight. And explain everything."

Zed smiled and Addison couldn't help but notice his slight, barely noticeable dimples. "That would be nice, yeah."

* * *

_**3:02pm**_ **Addison: Go to my apartment and make dinner**

 _ **3:02pm**_ **Addison: I don't care what you make just make it good**

 _ **3:03pm**_ **Addison: And make some steamed cauliflower too**

 _ **3:11pm**_ **James: You're so bossy**

 _ **3:11pm**_ **James: And who even eats cauliflower?**

* * *

"You invited your ex-boyfriend for dinner?"

Addison nodded. "We had a very liberating chat that was ended when my fifteen minutes were up. I want to make him suffer more."

"Or you'll end up in bed with him," James deadpanned. "This is a bad idea."

"That's why you'll be here to make sure I don't do anything stupid," Addison said with a grin. "He thinks we're dating too."

"Why were you talking about me?"

"We were talking about pets." Addison moved out from the bathroom and to her closet. "He said he's bringing his dog, just a warning. Though Puppy is the cutest little thing in the world."

James sat up from his spot on her bed with a raised brow. "Puppy? He named his dog 'Puppy'?"

"His sister named him Puppy when she was six," Addison explained. "And yes, that's the sister we won't mention tonight."

"I don't wanna go."

"You don't have a choice," Addison stated. "We need to praise the chef and shit. Also, keep me from doing stupid shit."

"Like dressing up to impress him?"

Addison rolled her eyes. "This dress is to actually show off my self harm scars," she stated. "You know I don't hide anything in my own apartment." _Except my hair_.

"You just want to make him feel bad."

"That's also true. It's why you're pretending to be my boyfriend. Without actually saying it. So he can think we're dating, but we have the opportunity to say that we never even said we're dating."

"I thought we only fake dated on holidays?"

"It's technically not fake dating," Addison explained. She slipped into a pair of wedges then moved over to her jewelry box. "Well just do what we've been doing for years, and I'm sure he'll think we're dating. Just don't dawn over him, he's really cute."

"He was a jerk to you! He can't be that attractive."

They both turned at the sound of knocking on the door. James got off her bed and followed her to the door. When she opened it Zed smiled with Puppy and a bouquet of flowers in his arms. His smile faltered when his eyes landed on James.

"Fuck," James breathed out.

Addison stepped to the side and let Zed come in. "I brought flowers for you," Zed offered.

"Thank you. Wanna grab those for me, James? Put them in a vase for me?"

"Sure thing."

Addison walked over to her table with Zed and James on her trail. "I see you brought Puppy."

"I don't like leaving him alone."

James went into the kitchen with the flowers leaving the two of them alone. "So, James?" Zed whispered.

Addison smiled. "He's nice, isn't he?"

"That's one way to put it."

Addison stepped to him and took Puppy from his arms. "Oh how I've missed you!" she gushed. "What a cutie! Who's a good boy, who's a good boy!"

Zed smiled at her. James came back in from the kitchen and looked Zed up and down. "Cool hair. What color is that? My brother is always looking for a nice shade of green."

Zed gave Addison a look as if to say ' _is this guy for real?_ ' that completely flew past her, since she was still gushing over Puppy. "I'm a Zombie," Zed stated. "My hair is naturally green."

James sucked in a breath. "You just got so much hotter."

"What?"

"Addy, he's a Zombie! Did you know he's a Zombie?"

"Yes James, I knew he was a Zombie," Addison said. She looked at Zed and shook her head. "Don't mind him. He's just fangirling because he's never seen a Zombie in person."

She let Puppy down then sat at the table. The two men followed suit, and Addison looked at James pointedly. "What're you doing? Go get the dinner!"

"Calm down, blondie," James said as he stood up again and went off into the kitchen.

Addison looked at Zed seriously, folding her hands on the table. "It smells like caulibrains," Zed said.

"I asked James to make some," Addison explained. "I know you need your brain substitute."

"How considerate of you."

"I like to think of others and how they might feel," Addison said pointedly. "Have you learned that other people feel things? That you should consider those feelings?"

"Yes, actually," Zed said. "I was in Minnesota, in this nice and quiet cabin in the woods."

Addison made a face at that. "Why would you willingly go to Minnesota?"

"Because no one's there," Zed explained. "And I just wanted to be alone and…and think. I wanted time to process everything."

Addison squinted at him. "But in Minnesota? Of all places?"

Zed nodded. "Who would find me in Minnesota?"

He had a point. James returned with the tray of baked ziti, putting it in the center of the table before going back in the kitchen.

"So James?" Zed asked.

"This is a dinner to talk about you and what you were doing in Minnesota for five years."

"Well, I finished high school there," Zed said. "It's really quiet and nice there. I did some odd jobs around the nearby town, but I spent most of the time as the secluded new guy in my cabin."

"Must have been nice to be unbothered for five years," Addison said.

"I didn't tell you because I was mad at you," Zed explained. "I wasn't mad at you forever. I started missing you a few days after I left. But I needed time. I just needed time to myself."

James returned again, balancing a tray of mashed potatoes and a tray of steamed cauliflower in his arms.

"You could've told me," Addison stated. "I would've understood. I would've given you your space. You were my boyfriend and I loved you. I would've understood."

"Well it didn't feel that way, at the time," Zed stated. "It felt like you wanted me to move on from what had happen. I dunno, I was eighteen and stupid. And hurting. It didn't take me long to realize that I could've talked to you, but then I figured you'd probably be better off without me."

Addison rolled her eyes. James looked between the two of them, then went about putting food onto the three plates.

"I had no idea that everyone would come for you," Zed went on. "I just figured everyone would be better and more free without me grieving and killing the mood."

"Not only was I miserable because people treated me like some cheap slut, but I was heartbroken." Addison stated. "You just blocked me and disappeared. We were gonna go to college together. We had a life plan, Zed. And you just threw it all away."

"Maybe…I should go." James suggested.

"Yes." Zed said, while Addison said, "No."

They looked at each other and sighed. "Could we at least try to be friends?" Zed asked.

Addison shook her head. "I don't want that," she said. "I don't really want you to come back in my life and pretend like everything's okay and fine and perfect. In fact, I think you should go."

Zed's face crumbled at her words. "Addy, wait—"

"Please. Just leave."

Zed looked like he wanted to protest but said nothing. He nodded and stood up, moving into the living room and grabbing Puppy in his arms. Addison got up and followed him, walking him to the door. Zed stepped into the hallway and looked at Addison sadly.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "Addy, please. Just give me a chance. Please. I-I love you. I still love you. I never stopped loving you."

Addison just looked at him. She didn't want to give him another chance at all, but somewhere deep inside of her she knew she couldn't let him suffer any longer. Before, she'd wanted him to suffer the same way she did. But now she knew she didn't want anyone to feel the same way she had.

"James is gay," she stated. Then she closed the door.


	6. Home

"Did I do the right thing?"

James, useless as ever, shrugged. "You clearly have feelings for him," he said. "And he said that he loves you."

"And…?"

James shrugged again. "He also made your life miserable," he said. "But he also came here and explained himself and apologized. But is it enough?"

"I'm asking you!"

"It's not my life," James said. "But hot damn, you have good taste."

Addison frowned. "Stop trying to make me laugh."

They both jumped at the sound of Addison's phone ringing. "It's Zed," James said. "It's been five minutes, and he's already calling. Are you gonna answer?"

"Should I?"

James shrugged. "Do whatever you think is best."

Addison sighed, then picked up her phone. " _Addison! I-You don't have to take me back or tell me you love me! But…but please just let me be your friend. I miss you and I'd be honored if you let me be your friend. We could hang out and do friend things. I don't want to lose you Addy!_ "

Addison looked at James who shrugged again. "Why don't you do friend things with your actual friends?" Addison asked.

" _I'm not going back to Seabrook until we've made amends. Even if you never forgive me I won't go back. You will always be my number one priority, Addison. I was stupid to think otherwise._ "

"Zed—"

" _I may have known Eliza and Bonzo for years but you're my best friend! I don't want to go to see them and hear horrible things about you. I want to talk to you, not them. I want to be with you, Addison! It was wrong and so stupid of me to just disappear and leave you with_ my _mess to clean up! I shouldn't have done that and if I could I would change what I did! But Addison, please know that I have never been more sorry in my life!_ "

Addison looked at James with tearful eyes. "Um, okay Zed," Addison said. "We can…we can hang out. Not today. But some other day, maybe."

Zed breathed out a sigh of relief on the other side of the line. " _You are literally the most gracious, kind, and caring person I have ever met_."

Addison couldn't help the smile that came to her face. "Okay. I have to go now."

" _Okay._ " After a pause, he said in a much softer voice, " _Thank you for giving me a chance, Addy. I swear you won't regret this_."

"Okay."

" _Goodnight._ "

"G'night Z."

She hung up then tossed her phone across the couch. "Why are you crying?" James asked.

"Because I love him," she said in a choked voice. "Fuck, James, I _love_ him."

"Did you ever stop?"

Addison surged forward and cried into his shoulder.

* * *

_Don't call her. Don't call her. She needs space. She needs time to heal. She needs space._

There were so many things Zed wanted to say to her. There were so many things he wanted to _do_. He knew he had to respect her personal bubble and that he had hurt her beyond belief. But _fuck,_ the minute his eyes landed on her he just wanted to surge forward and hold her and never let her go again.

Addison had only ever been doing what was best for him. Or, what she thought was best for him (for the two of them). She hadn't even turned in his dad. She kept her word and watched from the sidelines while he got hurt. She was his everything and he had been so _stupid_ to ruin it.

_Knock. Knock._

Zed jumped when he heard the knocking on his door. He hadn't ordered room service and no one he knew (except Addison) was in New York.

Puppy was fast asleep in his dog bed in the corner, which was good considering the old dog liked to run and attack any visitors. There weren't many, but still. Zed got up and cracked the door open, seeing Addison's friend, James, standing on the other side of the door. Zed looked at him in confusion.

"Um, hi?"

James crosses his arms. "Hello hot Zombie who makes my best friend cry."

Zed didn't like the way he said that he was Addison's best friend. _Bree_ was Addison's best friend.

"Hello person," Zed said in slight confusion. "How'd you find my hotel?"

"You're sharing your location with Addison, it wasn't difficult," James said. "Can I come in?"

Zed nodded and opened the door for him. "Make yourself comfortable," he said.

"Oh I won't stay long," James said. "I'm here to warn you."

"Warn me?"

"Yeah. I may look small and defenseless, especially compared to your big strong body, but if you hurt Addison I will _hurt_ you."

"Excuse me?"

"You think you can just come here and pretend like everything's okay? You hurt her, for years. _For years_ she's been putting her life back together and getting over you and I will not let you turn her back into the broken, depressed girl she was when I first met her."

"I'm not gonna hurt Addison," Zed said. "I made a mistake. I know that now."

"Do you? I know guys like you and you will not make Addison miserable."

Zed rolled his eyes. "You don't know me. And I'm fairly sure you don't know Addison either."

James scoffed. "As if I don't know my best friend. I've known her for years—five years!"

Zed rolled his eyes again. He wanted to say more, prove that he was closer to Addison than James, but had a feeling that he might say something Addison didn't want to share. Like some sort of white hair hidden underneath a blonde wig.

"Is that it? Did you just come here to yell at me?"

"Yeah, I did."

Zed was jealous of James. He got to spend five years with Addison, become her 'best friend'. James got the years and memories _he_ was supposed to have with Addison.

"Hey, can I feel your muscles?"

"What?"

James shrugged. "They're so bulgy. You're so muscular and hot."

"Dude, get out of my room."

* * *

Movie nights. There's was popcorns and a movie series selected, and Addison would invite James and this girl Molly from work. And, much to Zed's surprise, "Bree?"

He was surprised and she was a tiny ball of anger (to be fair, everyone Zed encountered was tiny). Still, he glared and charged him, only stopped by Addison stepping between the two of them.

"I can explain," Addison said. "He's a friend! Don't attack him!"

Bree gaped at Addison. " _What!_ _This_ is something you tell me when I call! I don't care about the creepy man who tipped you six dollars you tell me that freakin' _Zed Necrodopolus_ is in New York City and is coming to movie night!"

"I didn't want you to freak out," Addison said sheepishly.

"You think waiting until I see him in person is going _better_?"

"You aren't gonna lose your shit in front of Molly and James," Addison said with a shrug.

Bree looked like she wanted to protest but just whined petulantly. "In the hall, Addison," she demanded. She pointed a finger at Zed and said in a warning tone, "Don't go anywhere."

The two girls moved into the hall. Once Addison closed the door, Bree glared at her seriously. "Zed? Really? You'd better have a good explanation for this."

"He texted me last week," Addison said. "He said he was in town and he really wanted to talk. And, I didn't _want_ to but I knew I should so I gave him a chance. And we talked and talked and I've agreed to be friends."

"Because he said sorry?"

Addison shook her head. "Look, I told him how I felt and he told me what happened. I let him talk and the more he talked the more I understood. He was grieving and he made stupid decisions and so did I. I couldn't really blame him for it. Plus I was mad and kicked him out and then he called me minutes later begging for forgiveness. _Literally_. So we're friends."

Bree frowned and shook her head. "He made you miserable for _years_."

"Oh, you should talk to him," Addison waved her off. "He's still Zed and he's still really sweet and funny. And he's matured too! Have you heard his voice? That is a man, right there."

"Addison."

"And it's not like I'm gonna date him," she added. "But it doesn't mean we can't be friends."

Bree sighed. "Look Addy, I'm your best friend. I remember when we were in high school, and you would swoon for him every time. Those feelings don't just die. And I don't want to see you get hurt again."

"I won't date him," Addison assured her. "But also, you have to remember he left after his little sister died and his dad was arrested. He was a wreck. We were all a wreck. I can't even think about talking to Eliza because of that summer."

Bree sighed again and shook her head. "Look, I won't tell you what to do with your life. But, just don't forget all those years."

Addison nodded. "I won't."

* * *

Movie nights, and bowling nights, and laser tag. Hanging out with Zed was fun and a little freeing. And he seemed to mesh well with her friends. Sometimes during movies, he'd pull on her wig and give her a questioning look and she'd shake her head.

Addison wasn't sure when it started, but they started hanging out without James or Molly or Bree (when she was in town). She had a feeling it had been her idea. She did make most of the plans. She was pretty sure she had only texted Zed and forgotten to text the others but didn't really mind spending time alone with Zed.

"If we're just watching movies and eating pizza, will you take off your wig?" Zed asked one day. "It's just you and me, Addy."

Addison shook her head immediately. "No, I can't," she protested. "Today I've picked out some DCOMs because James and Molly don't let me watch DCOMs and you don't have a choice."

"Oh you know I _love_ Disney," Zed said, only slightly sarcastically.

"Oh you definitely loved every time Zoey and I would force you to watch them," Addison teased. "Do you remember the time we watched _High School Musical_ four times in a row? I sat on you so you couldn't get up and then Zoey ended up falling asleep on us."

"And then you fell asleep on me," Zed said wistfully. "Only, I could've gotten up the whole time. You're a very tiny person, you know?"

Addison rolled her eyes fondly. "You couldn't have! I was sitting on you!"

"Addy, I can easily lift you up. I just didn't want to, because I love having you close to me."

"Prove it."

Zed tilted his head at her and Addison moved into his lap. He grunted in surprise and Addison laughed. "Go ahead. Lift me up." Addison said.

Zed frowned. "I still don't wanna," Zed said, wrapping his arms around her middle. "Mm, you smell nice."

Addison laughed again and squirmed in his lap. "Stop sniffing me!"

Zed chuckled, then stood up with Addison in his arms. Addison squeaked in surprise and kicked her legs. "Yo what the hell!" she exclaimed, prompting Zed to laugh more.

"Put me down!"

Zed couldn't help but laugh as he spun her around, then tossed her onto the couch. Addison lifted her head and glared at him playfully. Zed smiled softly as his eyes landed on the misplaced blonde wig and the strands of white hair falling into her face.

Addison took a second to know what he was staring at and blushed, sitting up and fixing her wig. "Addy, you don't have to hide it," Zed said in a soft voice. "It's beautiful. You're beautiful."

Addison's eyes went wide as she remembered the first time he'd said it to her: in the Zombie Light Garden, when he was about to kiss her. She wanted to kiss him now too. She wanted him to hold her like he had before for longer. Not as friends, either.

Zed May have ruined their relationship, but he didn't ruin her life. _She_ did. She stopped being strong and she let people's words get to her. She stopped being herself. She let people control her life, starting with Zed.

Addison stood up and stretched up on her toes until her mouth was an inch from his. She closed her eyes and whispered, "Can I kiss you?"

Zed let out a breath and closed the gap. Slowly, Addison reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. He reached behind her and tugged off her wig, then let his hands rest against her back.

Addison pulled her lips back then rested her head against his chest. Zed held her close, and she pressed her ear to listen to his heartbeat: slow and steady and there. It felt like being home. The first time she felt true peace in years, even before Zoey died.

* * *

"Cool hair."

"This is my natural hair color," Addison said proudly. "I had a realization last night."

James raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Addison smiled and said, "I was mad at Zed, but I was more mad at myself. When I was fourteen I told myself I would change for anyone and I would stop letting people affect my life. And—before Zoey died and before Zed left—I stopped doing that. And I'm so fucking over it! Who cares anymore! I will be a freak if I want! I'll wear my hair proud! I'll eat ice cream whenever I want, and for fuck's sake I will make out with Zed Necrodopolus because I can!"

James looked at her in surprise. "You guys made out?"

Addison nodded. "It was the best thing ever! I love Zed! Always have, and I won't let anybody stop me anymore."

"Okay, you need to stop shouting." James said. He patted the spot beside him on the couch and Addison sat down next to him.

"When his sister died, I got into an argument with one of his friends," Addison explained. "And then the bitch had the audacity to make Zed choose between her and me. He chose me! Over his best friend! Whom he'd known for years!"

"Yes, but he left."

"Don't make me cut you out of my new life!" Addison warned. "I'm on a fucking high. Zed has this magic ability to make me happy all the time. And you know what? I was _miserable_ only being his friend."

"Oh you guys are dating now?"

Addison shrugged. "We made out and then we watch _High School Musical_ ," she explained. "But he put his arm around my shoulder and I fell asleep on him during the third one. And he carried me to my room and kissed me goodnight—on the forehead—and let himself out because he's a true gentleman."

"I'm not trying to control you or anything, but I just wanna make sure this is what _you_ want. I've already told you where I stand but it's your life and I'll support you no matter what."

Addison nodded in understanding. "Me and Zed…we were in love and we hit a bump. We may have lost our way and the journey may have split us up for a bit, but this was meant to be. Otherwise, we wouldn't have found our way back home."

"Okay, that's the sweetest thing I've ever heard."

Addison smiled and picked up her phone, reading a new text from Zed.

 _ **7:16am**_ **Zed: Are you working today?**

_**7:22am** _ **Addison: Yup**

_**7:22am**_ **Zed: Is it possible we could meet for coffee before you clock in?**

 _ **7:23am**_ **Addison: Absolutely**

 _ **7:24am**_ **Addison: Can you come over before 8:30?**

 _ **7:25am**_ **Zed: Yeah I'm on my way**

"He's coming over," Addison said. She looked at James with a slight smile. "I feel like teenager."

James just smiled, then stood up. "Alright. I'll see you later, then."

"Bye."

Ten minutes after James left, Zed showed up. He smiled tiredly at her and stepped inside. He had dark circles under his eyes and looked physically exhausted.

"Are you okay?" Addison asked in concern.

Zed smiled at her and nodded. "I didn't sleep last night but, I like seeing you with your real hair. It's so beautiful, especially on you."

"Thank you. But why didn't you sleep?"

"Because of last night," Zed said. "We didn't talk about it and I…I don't regret kissing you but I know I shouldn't have because you want to be just friends and I just felt really bad."

"I don't wanna be just friends," Addison stated. Zed raised a brow at her. "I mean, I didn't want to even talk to you. And then I knew that people would be upset if I even gave you a chance. But, um, _let them talk if they wanna_."

Zed smiled softly and physically relaxed. " _Let them talk if they're gonna_ ," he sang, soft and slowly.

Addison linked their hands. " _We're gonna do what we wanna_ ," they sang together. " _Let them talk, let them talk. If they wanna._ "

Addison leaned forward and rested her head on his chest. "I missed you," Zed said in a quiet voice. His voice was thick, as if he were on the verge of tears. He sniffed and Addison knew he was crying. "So much, Addy."

"I've missed you too."

Everything was gonna be alright.


	7. Epilogue

_**4 years later…** _

Both of them were apprehensive about going anywhere near Seabrook. Bree and Bonzo had shown them a quaint little neighborhood a half hour outside of Seabrook where they lived. It was in a whole different city but wasn't too far from where they grew up, where Addison's parents were. "And the storage unit where I put everything," Zed said.

And by everything he did mean _everything_. There were boxes filled with baby pictures and toys of Zed and Zoey and everything they owned. It was like the Necrodopolus house had been crammed into a storage unit.

"I thought you just threw all this stuff out," Addison said in disbelief.

"I sold anything I didn't care about," Zed said with a shrug. "But I didn't want to lose any of Zoey's stuff. Or, you know, some of my things. The baby stuff. All of it, I couldn't just get rid of but I also didn't want to carry it with me."

"At least we don't have to buy too much new stuff," Addison said. "Furniture wise and baby wise."

"Ah yes, let's reuse the old baby stuff from my childhood when we were too poor to even afford diapers."

"I don't like your attitude, husband," Addison pointed out.

Zed just smiled sweetly at her. "My apologies, dear wife."

Addison blew him a kiss before returning to rummaging around in the box before her. "I mean, look at these baby toys. And these baby books they're all in Zombie Tongue. Immersion in the language at a young age always helps."

"It's a very complex language," Zed stated.

"Twenty-three different words for 'brains'," Addison said with a laugh.

"You can't even speak Zombie Tongue," Zed pointed out.

"Complex language, husband," Addison stated. "No judgement, okay."

"Of course. Baby steps."

Addison smiled. "Where's Zander?" she asked. "I mean, I haven't gone through many boxes but I don't think he's here."

"You're right. I think Bonzo had him last."

"I guess I know where we're going next."

Zed shook his head. "We need groceries, remember?"

"Then…I'll go to Bree's and you buy groceries," Addison said with a grin. "Sounds like a deal!"

Zed chuckled and shook his head. "You are such a delight, Addy."

* * *

When Addison went to Bree's, she was moderately surprised to see Eliza there. Sure, her and Eliza had talked a few months after Addison got back with Zed and they had made up, and Eliza had even bee in Addison's wedding. But Eliza tended to keep out of the fifty mile radius of Seabrook.

Of course, Eliza was still Eliza. The minute Addison let herself in (with the key Bree had given her when they came back) and found her three friends in the living room, Eliza sized her up and whistled lowly. "Someone's pretty big," Eliza pointed out.

"Really. I had no idea." Addison deadpanned. "I wasn't expecting you here."

"You're due soon and I didn't plan on missing the birth of my goddaughter."

"You aren't the godmother and we don't know the gender." Addison sat down between Bree and Eliza.

"Whatever," Eliza said.

"What brings you here?" Bree asked.

Addison looked over at Bonzo and asked, "I wanted to see if Bonzo still has Zander. I mean, it's fine if you don't, but we were going through all of Zed's old stuff earlier and…"

Bonzo just reached into a cabinet and pulled out the stuffed dog with a proud grin. Addison beamed at him. "I can't believe you held onto this."

Bonzo smiled sheepishly. " _Ig znek Zebala zijn zugaluh_ ," he said. Addison grinned at him. She was still a little rusty with her Zombie Tongue, but she was pretty sure he'd said something along the lines of knowing Zed would be back.

"Are you sure I can take it?" Addison asked.

"Addy, it's not even his. It was Zoey's." Bree said. "Plus I know that Zander will make you and Zed and _the baby_ very happy!"

Addison giggled and blushed. Bonzo offered Zander to her and she took ahold of the stuffed dog. " _Zo kuig_?" Bonzo asked.

Addison laughed and held the stuffed dog tightly. "I can't tell you, B! I gotta go now but thanks for giving me Zander."

"Of course," Bree said. "Just make sure I'm the first person to know when your little girl is born!"

Addison rolled her eyes. "You can't fool me. The only person who knows is the doctor who is also sworn to secrecy."

"Why would you ever want to be surprised with the gender?" Eliza asked in judgement.

Addison shrugged. "I can't explain myself to you. But I should probably head home, Zed's waiting."

* * *

Addison found Zed at the cemetery instead of home or even at the grocery store. She saw his car in the lot and pulled over. He was sitting on the ground, staring at Zoey's head stone when she found him. He lifted his head and smiled sadly at her.

"It's been a while since I've been here," he stated. "How about you?"

"What?"

"When was the last time you came to see Zoey?"

"A few years ago, like a few months before you came," Addison said. "Can I just ask if you even went to the grocery store?"

Zed laughed lightly and shook his head. "I got distracted. How did you know I'd be here?"

Addison shrugged. "I was going to see my parents," she said honestly. "I guess we both made tiny detours."

After a silent minute, Zed asked, "Are you gonna stay? You can sit if you'd like."

"I wanna stay, but I doubt I could get back up without being severely embarrassed."

Zed laughed and shook his head. "That's why you have such a handsome and amazing husband to help you."

"Alright, you gotta help me down too," Addison said. "Very pregnant here."

Zed laughed again, more calmly and quieter than before. He helped her to sit on the ground beside him, then wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his side. "I love you," he said softly. "Have I told you today?"

Addison nodded as she nuzzled her head on his shoulder. "I still like to hear it though."

"I wanna make sure I say it as much as I can," he told her. "You are the love of my life, Addison. And I am so happy that I get to spend the rest of my life with you."

Addison giggled and turned her head up to smile at him. "Sounds like your wedding vows," she said with a smile. "I know you love me, Zed. I love you."

Zed smiled softly and kissed the side of her head. "I know," he said softly. "I just…I still get scared that you'll get tired of my bullshit."

"Don't worry. We're married, so we get to deal with each other's bullshit and get over it. I'm rooting for us, ya know."

Zed laughed softly. He moved his other hand to rest on her belly and hummed the melody to _Someday_. "Do you ever wonder what it would be like if Zoey were alive?"

"We'd have been married a while ago," Addison stated. "Probably have a kid already."

"What? Addy, we're twenty-six."

Addison shrugged. "You were so infatuated with me, man. You would've put a ring on it by at least twenty. We'd get married after college, twenty-two or twenty-three. At the pace we already went, we'd be having a baby not long after."

"I-I guess you have a point." Zed sighed and Addison reached over to hold onto his shoulder.

"Hey, I don't regret the life we've got," she said. "We're together, and that's all that matters. Don't think about the 'what-if's', just think about now. And the future."

Zed nodded and Addison kissed his cheek lovingly. She got an idea and smiled slightly. "I have the gender envelope. We could open it, with Zoey here."

Zed brightened up and smiled at her in wonder. "Really? I thought we were gonna keep it a secret?"

Addison shrugged. "I never really cared, honestly. It's why I have it, in case you changed your mind."

He nodded at her and she pulled it from the pocket or her jacket, handing the envelope to him.

* * *

_**A few more years later…** _

There was a rule in the Necrodopolus house: at least five pages a day of a book per person. Even if Addison or Zed had to help their daughter read, it needed to be five pages at the least.

Of course, Angelica Zoey Necrodopolus liked to finish the books in one day with her mom or dad reading with her. In June Addison read to her everyday. June was the hardest month of the year for Zed. He spent nearly the whole month locked in his bedroom, away from his family.

Angelica was five now and curious and cognisant. She could tell something was up with her father, after six days of being standoffish and moody. Zed always jumped at the opportunity to read to her and yet he was off in his room, doing who knows what.

When Angelica asked, Addison had to explain to her what had happened all those years ago. It didn't hurt as much as it did before. And death wasn't a new concept to her daughter; Mufasa had died and Tiana's father died, Ellie had died. Literally all the children movies she had seen had involved a character death. And Addison had to explain what happened to Auntie Bree's baby (stillborn).

The only difference was that Angelica had gotten to know those people and Zoey was just a story. Addison made sure to tell her that Zoey had owned Zander. "Your daddy loves his little sister, and it hurts him a lot when he thinks of her and when she died," Addison said.

"Do you think if I make him cookies he'll feel better?"

She didn't want to lie and say yes but she knew Zed wasn't in the cookies mood. Then she thought of something else, something that might make him feel better. He'd always told her that Angelica reminded him so much of Zoey.

Five minutes later, Angelica was walking into her parent's bedroom. Zed looked up at her and raised an eyebrow. "Hey Angel," he greeted. When he noticed her rocking on her heels nervously, he asked, "What's up?"

"I asked Mommy for a puppy," she said. "She said no. She said you could pretend to be my puppy until I'm old enough. She said you used to play puppy with your little sister until she got a puppy. Will you play puppy with me Daddy?"

Zed looked at her in surprise. Addison, watching from the doorway, didn't know what he was thinking. Hopefully he wasn't angry or upset.

"Of course," Zed agreed hesitantly. He caught Addison's eye and slowly smiled. "Do you know how to play?" he asked his daughter without breaking eye contact with Addison.

Angelica nodded. "Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy!" She wasn't Zoey, not in the slightest. But this was a good reminder of her still.


End file.
